Het grote: Wat zit er onder CTRL+V Topic

Haha, moest wel lachen toen ik dit las;

TYPES OF POOP

Ghost Poo:

A ghost poo is the ninja of the world of shit. It is rare, but I can testify that a healthy diet can produce one. It challenges your grasp on reality, because when you look in the bowl to see what you’ve done (don’t worry, eveyone does this) there is no smell and nothing there… puzzling enough, but when you wipe your arse it’s already as clean as… well as clean as it ever was.

The ghost poo is smooth and firm enough to be ejected with

“toilet escape velocity” i.e. you shot it right around the u-bend. So it not only disappears but there is no lingering pong, as it only had a millisecond of exposure to the atmosphere.

So… did you really poo. The only evidence is few unreliably changed synapses that are busy trying to work out more important stuff.

“I just had a brilliant shit. Well, I mean, I think I did. It must have been a ghost poo.”

“I just had a ghost poo. It’s a shame for people who will never have one”

Teflon Poo:

So slick and easy you don’t even feel it. No trace of poo on the

toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:

This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you

still don’t come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your

underwear so you don’t soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the

toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:

You’re all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise…

there’s more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:

This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn’t want to come out

until you’re all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:

You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:

You’d better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to

get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your

pants down.

King Kong Poo:

This one is so big you think it won’t go down the toilet unless you

break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.

This kind of poo usually happens when you’re at someone else’s house.

Cork Poo:

Also known as “floaters.” Even after the third flush it’s still there,

floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:

This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the

launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:

You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:

You wish you’d got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:

This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least

three feet long.

Morning After Poo:

Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn’t

smell that bad, but THIS one… Usually you’re at someone else’s house

(normally a girl you’re trying to impress) and they’re waiting outside

to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:

Also called “screamers.” You know it’s safe to eat again when your bum

stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:

Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the

stitches or go for the fuller figure.

waarom…

heeft je broertje iemand mishandeld en sinds wanneer is iemand van 17 een man

mg_obstacle

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